i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
