She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
