every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize