id be glad to
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
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