rhymes with "ouble enetration"
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
