It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
