He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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