Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
