Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
He shit in the fireplace
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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