just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize