Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
