you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
