What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
operation have a gay friend backfired
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
