so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
