Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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