If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
