He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
