well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
