loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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