i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
