can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
