Sponge bath it is.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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