i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
How naked do you want me to be?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
