jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
