tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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