The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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