I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
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