This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
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I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
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We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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