It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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