dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
