My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
