bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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