it wasn't lemon gatorade
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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