if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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