it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
