I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Terrible idea I love it
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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