the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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