If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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