C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
