Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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