what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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