I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
