i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
