I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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