never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
