I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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