My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
