Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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