My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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