Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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