The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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