ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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