How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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