So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
