Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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