I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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