well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
