My brain says no but my pants say off.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Everyone says I win the strip club
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
