Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize