i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
