Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
