Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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